


For Us Only

by AVirtoMusae



Series: Meet the Family [16]
Category: A Song of Ice and Fire & Related Fandoms, A Song of Ice and Fire - George R. R. Martin, Game of Thrones (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Androgynous Arya, Arya is Arry, Arya is genderqueer, Cop!Jon, Crack, Embarrassed Jon, F/M, Gender-Neutral Pronouns, Horrible pick-up lines, Jon Snow is a Targaryen, Jon Snow knows nothing, M/M, Naive Jon, Seriously how is Jon this clueless?, Unthemed pronouns, like seriously
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-21
Updated: 2015-08-21
Packaged: 2018-04-16 10:30:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,435
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4621959
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AVirtoMusae/pseuds/AVirtoMusae
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jon keeps having sex with criminals while an intern for the police. Oops</p><p>{Can be read without having read the previous fics}</p>
            </blockquote>





	For Us Only

**Author's Note:**

> Again, apologies for the delay. So, yeah, this is kind of different from what I typically write. I hope you all enjoy anyway!

**_i. Satin Fowers_ **

The first time it ever happens is the same day he begins the practical non-desk-work portion of his internship. Jon Targaryen never even saw it coming. 

Jeor Mormont, the Chief of Police, had just dismissed him for the day (apparently he didn't want some lowly intern working when said intern could be at his sister's Name Day party). Jon was pretty sure he was thankful until he remembered that literally everyone would be there and that, unless Cersei or Margaery somehow outdid it, it would be called the party of the year. There was also the fact that Jon was not the hugest fan of parties that went beyond family and close friends. 

Jon did not go home right away, first spending about an hour practicing his Westerosi sword techniques and then heading to the bakery to pick up a croissant (he had neglected to get a present). When he did get home, he party was already raging.

There were numerous colors of mood lighting and disco lights hanging from the ceiling, and to Jon's dismay, alcohol. How could he as a self-respecting cop be at a party involving alcohol for minors? He conveniently forgot all his own underage drinking. 

He sighed and put the croissant in Bethany's hands and, after wishing her a happy Name Day, fled to the back corner of the great hall. He was usually a wallflower like that, or at least until Arry dragged him away to hang out. 

Today, however, there was no Arry in sight, so Jon remained hidden in his little corner, or at least, he did until a man came to stand next to him, striking a pose somewhere between sultry and fashion-model-like.

"Hey," the man said, winking before pushing a strand of hair behind his ear.

"Uh, hello?" Jon answered nervously. He smiled sheepishly.

The man just grinned. "You look like a strong fellow, and I need some help with something upstairs. Come with me." He turned expectantly and motioned for Jon to follow. Jon wondered vaguely why the man had been upstairs to begin with.

Still, Jon followed him. "What are you called?"

"Satin Flowers," the man practically purred.

Jon gave him a skeptical look, which looked much like all his other expressions. "I'm Jon Targaryen."

Satin smirked. "Love meeting you." He looked at Jon and in the door to a room. "In here."

Jon entered before Satin and looked around questioningly. "What was your problem?" It did not look like there was a problem.

"This," Satin answered, pulling up his teal v-neck and exposing his chest. His very well-toned chest, Jon could not help but notice. "You're just so hot and sexually that I just need to --" 

Satin was hot and sexy too, Jon could give him that much, but Jon had not really ever been one for one-night stands. He had been with no one, actually, mostly because he was too shy to approach anyone to begin with. Ergo, he could only stammer the beginnings of numerous failed sentences.

Satin grinned like the cat with the cream. "I rather like you," he purred, trailing a finger down the middle of Jon's clothed chest. "You're cute and amusing. I simply must have you."

"Satin?" Jon protested, albeit feebly, "I don't even know you!" 

Satin grinned wolfishly. "Then get to know me. Intimately." 

"Errr," Jon protested, biting his lip. He could see Satin watch the gesture. He looked Satin up and down. Satin was really hot, hot and very hard. 

"Come on," Satin insisted before grabbing the lapels of Jon's intern uniform and kissing him thoroughly. Jon could feel himself getting hard, a fact which made him blush. 

When Satin pulled away, Jon could only gape.

"So is that a yes?"

Jon could only nod mutely.

❋ ❊ ❋ ❊ ❋

When Jon woke up in the morning, the first thing he noticed was the strange weight on his chest. He opened his eyes to see a man lying across from him. Then it all came flooding back to him. "Shit," he mumbled.

Trying not to disturb Satin, he pushed him from his chest and got up. He quickly pulled his own clothing on and then stared at Satin's discarded clothing. He sighed. Then he started to fold it to put on the bed when a business card fell out of Satin's pocket.

A business card clearly stating that Satin was a prostitute, a job that was now highly illegal.

As if sensing Jon's dismay, Satin groaned and sat up. "What time's it?" he mumbled.

Jon gaped for a second. "6:40." He shook his head. "How much am I going to have to pay you?"

Satin frowned. "What?! No, no, no. It’s free for you."

"Right, I don't believe you," Jon hissed.

Satin pouted. "I just really wanted to bang you. I missed out on some good cash for it too. You should be flattered."

"I can't fall for this sort of thing! I'm an intern, dammit!" Jon growled.

"What's that got to do with it?" Satin asked. He sounded genuinely curious.

"Police intern," Jon exclaimed, agitated. He ran a hand through his curls.

Satin cursed. Jon wholeheartedly agreed with the sentiment. "Well," Satin hazarded, "I bet you could do something wicked with your handcuffs."

Jon frowned. "Who said I'd be arresting you?"

"Aren't you supposed to?"

"Yeah, but I'll give you a pass this time," Jon decided, grimacing nervously.

"Well, here's my number. Call me if you ever want a repear." Satin handed Jon a paper. Jon just stared at him incredulously.

_**ii. Ygritte Spearling** _

Just because he was from the north and lived in the south did not mean he had to, as an intern, be the liason between the North and the South. That would be ridiculous. Therefore it was unofficially the truth.

He was staying with his uncle, Ned, while he and the others assigned to the case were investigating the gang known only as _The Wildlings_. They were allegedly one of the most vicious gangs in Westerosi history with only a few exceptions.

And that was why Jon was currently stuck staking out an abandoned castle near the Old Wall. A new one had been constructed further to the south when the actual Wildlings had come south of the Wall in order to prevent their invasion of Westeros while keeping them from turning into Others. 

"Yo, mate, you look like you're freezing your dick off," a voice with a strong Northern burr called from behind him in the most teasing way possible. Jon blushed and frowned all at once before turning to look at the voice's owner with the most scandalized expression he could manage. She snickered at him.

“I am not,” Jon replied, frowning still.

She seemed to ignore the sentiment. “Want something warm it up on? You’re looking a bit blue.” She looked him up and down. She sauntered over to him. 

Jon shook his head. “I’m Jon. You are?” He wasn’t sure if it could sound a bit more awkward if he put effort into it.

“Ygritte,” she replied, grinning at him. He turned even redder, and she laughed. “Come here,” she invited again. He turned even more red, amazingly. When he did not comply, she added, “You know nothing, Jon Snow.”

“My parents were married,” he protested, frowning.

Ygritte rolled her eyes. “Nah, you just look as cold as snow. Now get the fuck over here, would ya?” She came over to him and grabbed his hand. Jon’s eyes widened, and he met her inviting gaze hesitantly. 

“I don’t really do one-night stands,” Jon protested. 

Ygritte raised one unimpressed eyebrow. “Well, I never said it had to be just one night, did I?”

Jon bit his lip and nodded, finally accepting her invitation. She led him into a small closet in the castle, quite a bit aways from where he was stationed. By then, however, Jon had stopped caring.

❋ ❊ ❋ ❊ ❋

After, Jon saw Ygritte smiling in the dim light just as she led him out of the cupboard. They were met almost immediately by a craggy looking man. “Got the sentry-boy out of the way for a bit,” Ygritte informed the man with a grin.

Then it dawned on Jon. “You’re a Wildling!”

“Guilty as charged,” Ygritte admitted, with a shrug. She patted him on the shoulder. “Now you might want to move.

**_iii. Grenn Blake_ **

Jon was fully aware of it next time he slept with a criminal. It would have been hard for him not to be aware, to tell the truth. Grenn had been one of Jon’s best friends since high school (Arry had spent a lot of time tormenting Grenn for the hells of it), and tragedy had just struck his friend. Grenn’s father had up and left in the middle of the night about a month ago, and his mother had just received the divorce papers.

And then earlier today, Jon had caught Grenn graffitiing a wall in the middle of time. Jon was aware that it wasn’t the first time, and he was even more fully aware that the other man had often had to resort to petty theft in order to feed his younger sister, Tacy. 

And now, Grenn was sobbing onto his shoulder, fisting his shirt, and Jon was stuck hugging him and patting his back with all the awkwardness in the world. “Please,” Grenn whimpered, his voice still wet with his tears.

“How can I help?” Jon asked quickly, wanting to do whatever he could to help his long-time friend.

“Just help me, please,” Grenn whispered, and Jon still had no clue what to do to help. “Distract me? Please?” His mouth was now impossibly close to Jon’s, and Jon could not help but draw his long-time friend into a kiss. How was Jon to know it was going to turn into something more? Really?

**_iv. Alys Karstark_ **

Later, Jon would be relieved that at least Alys’s crimes weren’t actually all that bad -- and they were ones that weren’t actually hurting anyone. Or at least, not hurting really anyone other than herself, and not in the same way as Satin’s were. 

Actually, Jon had been dating Alys for nearly a month by the time he first slept with her (and inevitably figured out that she was a criminal). Except, of course, at the time, he knew of her as Alira Krey. 

They had met at one of the parties hosted by Sansa. Apparently Alys had been invited for whatever reason. Jon didn’t exactly remember, but they both had ended up sitting alone by the bar before Alys had decided to break their mutual aloneness and start a conversation. 

Now, a month into their relationship, Alys asked, “Come back to my place with me? You know, spend the night, Prince Jon.”

Jon blinked and flushed slightly. “And what would we be doing there?” Sometimes, Jon’s naivete could be astounding.

“Making love,” Alys whispered, putting her lips against Jon’s ear as he nodded. He shivered, and Alys grinned, practically dragging him back to her place hours before expected. Jon could only nod mutely.

Later, of course, Jon would question why it was only after the sex that he would figure out that Alys was not Alira. Really. Why did he figure out people were criminals after he slept with them? It was beginning to be a pattern with him. 

Jon had been getting ready for work the morning after when he saw the card slip out of Alys’s coat pocket. He’d picked it up and had been about to replace it in her pocket when he spotted the name on it: Alys Karstark, not Alira Krey. 

“Al?” Jon asked, frowning in confusion. “Why do you have a fake license?” 

Alys had shot straight up, looking alarmed. “Um, this is the real one.”

“What? Alira?” Jon said confusedly. He frowned and fiddled with the hem of his shirt. 

“Alys Karstark,” Alys corrected as nicely as a person who had been lying about her identity for months possibly could. “I’m running from my father because he keeps trying to arrange my marriage with these rich a-holes, and I want him to stop running my life. “

Jon nodded. “I understand. I’m glad my parents aren’t like that.” Nosy, they were, but not controlling like that.

“You do?” Alys asked, sounding incredibly hopeful.

“I’m not judging even though what you’re doing is illegal,” Jon answered. Alys pulled him into a kiss.

They were together for another two months before her dad had figured out her fake identity, and Jon had to help Alys skip town. They still wrote occasionally. 

**_v. Asha Greyjoy_ **

It was the last week of his internship, and Jon was in a very, very good mood. For him, at least. His friends seemed significantly drunker and happier than he did even though it was his accomplishment they were celebrating. His friends had disappeared over to some other part of the bar -- except for Arry, who stood at fer place by his side. 

“Hey,” a girl a few years older than Jon greeted, coming to stand next to him and his cousin. She had black hair and a hooked nose, and she was very pretty. “What’s your drink?!” 

Jon gaped at her. “I don’t understand.”

Arry elbowed him. “It means she’s buying you a drink, dumbass.” Jon blushed. “Seriously, you’re a cop. How the fuck are you still naive?!”

“Language,” Jon mumbled. Arry and the girl snorted. “And I’m just an intern.”

Arry rolled fer eyes. “Yeah, obviously. You’re too stupid to be a proper cop obviously.”

“Hey,” Jon protested. 

“Now I’m just going to walk away and leave you with this gorgeous woman, okay?” Arry asked, looking between Jon and the girl. Jon shot fer a glare, but Arry had already walked away. Before leaving, fey whispered in his ear, “And it’s totally okay if you sleep with another criminal.”

Jon blushed, and the girl laughed at him. “So, you’re a copper then.”

“I guess. My name’s Jon.”

“Asha,” Asha smirked, holding out a hand for him to shake. Hesitantly, he agreed and shook her hand almost daintily. “Now, am I getting you that drink or what?”

“Drink,” Jon squeaked, and a few hours later, he’d had more than just that one drink with Asha. And those drinks were apparently good enough reason for him to go back to her place for a quickie. After, his face ruddy and his perfect curls messed up beyond belief, Jon turned to her and asked, “You’re not actually a criminal, right?”

Asha just just laughed. 

Jon really wanted to bang his head against something.

**Author's Note:**

> So, as always, name suggestions, pairing suggestions, and the like are always appreciated. Any other feedback is also loved!
> 
> As always, please pick your favorite from the following:
> 
> {1} Garlan and Leonette send their kids off to school for the first time. It only sort of goes as planned  
> {2} Tommen makes up a story about his kittens -- the five time he tries to tell it and fails and the one time he succeeds  
> {3} Mariah and Tommen through teenage and early twenties -- how their relationship evolves  
> {4} Myrcella and Bethany become friends, to the dismay of all parents involved  
> {5} Sansa teaches Margaery to cook (mostly based off my kitchen misadventures, but any stories you'd like to have included are welcomed)  
> {6} Willas and Oberyn try to watch a movie on historical relations between Dorne and the Reach  
> {7} Cat and Ned interrogate their children's significant others  
> {8} Davos runs a daycare center, and Stannis is forced to cover for him  
> {9} Five times Bethany tried to seduce Podrick and failed and the one time she succeeded  
> {10} Five times Joy Hill thought Marcyl was a whiny ass and the one time she didn't  
> {11} Catelyn runs across Jojen and Meera smoking, and freaks out, but she freaks out even more when she is goes to tell Bran and finds him smoking with them  
> {12} How Robb and Theon got together  
> {13} Five times Arry and Gendry broke up and the one time they really didn't  
> {14} Margaery and Sansa want to have a nice date, but family calls keep interrupting them  
> {15} Five times Margaery tried to propose to Sansa, and the one time Sansa proposes to her  
> {16} Renly and Loras decide to troll the Baratheon-Lannister clan  
> {17} Five time Jaime and Brienne couldn't see eye-to-eye and the first time they did
>
>> A Virto Musae  
> By the Virtue of the Muse


End file.
